Monday, February 25, 2013

The Starfish Reef

______________________________________________________________________________ It was a balmy day with wisps of warm wind. The sun sparkled off of the sea in glittering amazement. We were on a brief respite with my once estranged parents in Half Moon Bay and things had been a bit awkward. So we stole away for an impromptu adventure before dinner, my sons and I. We walked down the long drive and down the steep stairs to find the lonely beach welcoming and enchanting, almost beaconing us. The tide was out exposing secret caves and paths of rock we had never seen before. We were younger then. They weren't yet towering over my 4' self. So I thought I was still able to play the spin around game as we got on the sand. Lifting them up they were heavier than I expected and we fell to laughing. As we got closer to the water we ran excitedly, rejoicing to have the entire moon of beach to ourselves. We walked and talked sometimes holding hands, exploring the caves around bends we could never get to before. We bounded in the opposite direction down the beach and far out onto smooth wet rock. Stepping out onto what had normally been waist deep ocean when suddenly, there they were. First one, then five .. then we realized they stretched as far as the eye could see. Our eyes filled up with tears at the site as we gazed at each other in complete awe. Starfish. An undiscovered treasure. My sons and I began to count them all but stopped at 200 or so and finally just marveled. We hunted and compared all the variations careful not to disturb them in their habitat. Finally stopping to sit in the warm sand we talked about the starfish. We talked about life things and all that we hoped for each other and for ourselves. I felt as if I was not more than a few years older than they were as we sat and talked openly in sandy squishing toes. It was a moment paused in time permitted by the gift of the starfish, and the moment we afforded ourselves, away from the bewildering world. We had been through a great deal, and the future would prove to be much the same way. We have since lost my mother and other loved ones. We even lost each other for stretches of time, but we always have found our way back to the bonds we created with each other. We don't just have a mother and sons relationship. My children and I pretty much grew up together. All four of my children; my two beautiful daughters and my loving sons and I have true friendship. Unconditional and enduring. It is the way love is built inside me that reveals itself in clear and pure progression inside of them. It is the greatest gift I could have given them and they have it by complete accident because I can't really take credit for it. It's just, what is real in me, is real in them and I am beyond grateful. I am grateful for the day I was able to rescue hope when all hope seemed lost during our struggles. It brings me unspeakable joy for the amazing people they have now become. I'm also grateful I allowed myself the abandon for a few precious moments before dinner to say "Let's go for a walk" on a whim. We didn't return until well past sunset and my parents were for some reason furious at us for being late. The three of us giggled quietly as we looked at each other in silent secret. I don't remember what we even ate that night for dinner, but I remember every glint on the ocean, every varied spot and color on each of our precious starfish and the look of awesome in the eyes of my sons. I carry that day and many others, in my heart during tough times and it is ever sustaining and fills up my soul. Today is my youngest sons birthday. I happened upon this picture and had to tell this story in celebration of him and to let all of my children know how very blessed they have made my life. As a mother I could never ask for better children, as a woman, I have no greater friends. I hope one day everyone will stop and take a walk and find the kind of treasures I now carry with me always. Isaiah, Happiest of Birthdays Sweet Son ... I cherish you. ~ Love Mama ****

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Following of Fridays

Following people around is an inherent habit of the human being. It may be because we think other people know more than we do.

Or we just don’t want to miss anything. We long to be included.

We long to know what other people are doing and thinking and of course wearing, but most of all we want to know, “What are people talking about?.”
We can’t help ourselves! We are nosey. Anyone on Twitter will shamelessly admit to it.

When we were kids, we followed other kids around in school just to find out what they were doing. Some things will never change about us and that’s a good thing. We learn from each other through our watching, our listening and by following each other around!

The culture on Twitter broadens this concept of follow the leader and takes it to dizzying heights with endless heartfelt listings. It has redefined the follow factor and opened up its capacity far and beyond the 140 or less limitations. What translates in a tweet can be felt and ingratiated so out of the box it is mind blowing!

We cook dinner, and thousands of people will know about it. What used to be a single daily task is now a full blown conversation among thousands of people! What used to be the simple running of errands has now become the “I’m At The” game of “smart “nesses, social media mavens and tweetoholics.
Why do we care if someone just dropped their dog off at the groomer, or changed their mind about which grocery store to go to down the street? Because we follow them around and what used to seem to be meaningless tasks, have now become points of interest simply because we are listening. It reveals the nature of us truly, people care about people! It doesn’t matter what we are doing or where we are, we want to know about it.

So I’ll ask the question; Do these mundane pieces of seemingly meaningless tidbits of information clutter us up inside or distract us too much from our own lives? The ability to now know things about each others lives in an instant instead waiting days or even weeks, has ramped up our minds and our culture. It has a stimulating effect for more doing. As we watch others and now have immediate access to what others are doing we accelerate our own actions and behavior. We have the ability to absorb more information than we ever thought was possible in a single day. I like to call it the “Lucy and Ethel Effect”. Beyond pretending to borrow that cup of sugar just for an excuse to find out what antics Lucy was up to next, we are the Ethel’s with our ears up against the wall of humanity. Our ability to do this has afforded us opportunity to in fact assist change for human rights as has been played out right before our tweeting eyes in numerous circumstances.
Our fondness of following each other around is an essential part of our human nature and the “Following of Fridays” gives us the permission we all really wanted, to revel in it!

Happy Follow Friday Everyone! Follow me!


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Disarming the Heart

You are his teacher and he is my son,
He does the best that he can
Books on his back soon as you are done, my strong little brave little man

Who puts these ideas in his head then,
All about gothic and dread
President’s whores, terrorist wars
Instead of my golden rule
He’s fighting off danger in school

Don’t blame this on no taliban man,
Or a need to even the score
Disarming hearts is the only way we can,
Give Love an open door ... or lose even more.

Disarm our hearts, let's change our minds.
Let's take the time to redefine ...

10 years later it’s just gotten worse
We're a land full of contraband
We are held hostage in body and purse
and it’s not just cause of one man.

I may be a gramma, sometime in March of next year
And it breaks my heart, right from the start
Before she even gets here
She’s already hostage to fear.

Don’t blame this on no taliban man
As the walls came tumbling down
We have not done all we can ...
Before we heard the sound ...

Disarming hearts is the only way we can,
Give Love an open door ... or lose even more.

Disarm our hearts, let's change our minds.
Let's take the time to redefine

We know our own hearts, we know where we've been
We knew from the start who's to blame for what sin
Yet we're challenged by hope and we linger with fear
Who would have smote what was cradled sincere?

Don’t blame this on no Taliban man,
Or a need to even the score
Disarming hearts is the only way we can,
Give Love an open door, or lose even more...

~ djs

Hello, this is a song you will soon hear that I wrote for my legally blind son as my children and I struggled through 9/11 etc ...
I feel it is currently appropriate which is why I chose to share it

It's message speaks for itself

We can all disarm our hearts in the little things we do daily,
Have more patience with others...
Lean less on the horn while driving
(the horn can be as offensive as throwing rocks and can frighten elderly drivers, use only for safety as it was intended, not to just let people how annoyed we are at being in a hurry)
Listening requires an open heart as well as ears
Hug your people as much as possible
Let's Embrace our differences, we learn to expand our wellbeing in doing so

Humanity is family, while we all may not see eye to eye,
we can make love the first intention.

Just my opinion, thank you for taking the time to care enough to read this.

I appreciate you, bless you & all that surrounds you ... ~ djs


Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Shiver Runs Through It ... this cold economy

As spring reaches out to take her turn and summer totally just takes cuts in front of her, I’m feeling completely snowed in by this cold economy. Up until now, I have been a patient observer even through the downward spiral of unemployment, and the overwhelming rising price of gas, among so many other things. Now a quiver goes up my spine as I face the hard truth, it has seriously brought me down ...

and Please! I don't need a pep talk I need a *gulp* J O B.

Our culture is changing so rapidly an old school girl barely has a chance to shift gears and catch up. But you should know, I was once one of the first people that I knew, to use computers at work and now they have taken over our lifestyle. I was once a switchboard operator with cords, cables and rotary dials and now phones are attached to ear balls. Once upon a time I was a powerhouse in boardrooms, partnering people with purpose to get a project done over donuts and coffee, and now in person meetings are replaced virtual conferencing. People have forgotten what it was like to pick up a telephone and catch up, instead preferring to direct message in social media. All around my neighborhood, beloved libraries and bookstores are closing, and people are being forced into seeking content online. Even utility bills are encouraging me to go paperless. (Do you smell a through line?) After having been through identity fraud, that’s where I draw the line. Excuse me, but there has to be a balance here somewhere. Closing libraries isn’t green people. The Books Are Already Printed!

Yesterday, I went in person to a staffing agency, (they, who shall not be named) of which in the past I had amazing success with I might add, even using this agency to employ others when I needed to staff up as a manager, and was treated with complete disdain for dropping by. I was unceremoniously told I must go back online to request a meeting! By the way, the office was completely empty! It wasn’t like the line was out the door. As I went out the door I took it with a sense of humor and made the 3 girls laugh who worked there, but I could smell conspiracy. Hello!?! Really!?!

I went online and endured some difficult testing which was stunning, to apply at a store which is local to me just for convenience. Irony? Every village that was ever missing their idiot seemed to work there, meaning why not me! No response. Maybe I didn't pass the test? Over the last year and a half I have averaged thousands of online applications with only one “in person” interview. Excuse me, but there has to be a balance here somewhere. Forcing our humanity into a box ie; "Internet" is not going to make us disappear. People have to be able to afford the Internet or at least a cup of designer coffee for wi fi!

Now look, I have moved with these changes and adapted them as a part of my own life and truly feel there is huge value in technology. I'm the first in my family to champion the miracles of Twitter and what not, and I certainly don't really miss the rabbit ears on my television. But when the Internet goes down, we'll all be stranded in mid air waves, without even a book left to read by candle light at the rate things are going.

When it comes to career and looking for work, the model is completely lacking in humanity on every level with one exception, relationships. I have met some of my dearest friends in person from Twitter, which is rare. Usually if someone already knows you out of “the box" they are usually receptive to you. In the olden days, I used to go into a place and was hired on the spot. Doing this is for some reason is hugely discouraged now, but I’m brave and chase pavements regardless. Why? Because just being in the box alone is not enough to get a response! What else can a person do? Aside from blinging out my resume, or sending gifts I can't afford to potential employers, which I have also done! Somehow I believe I am not alone in my quest. I’m sure there are many of you out there trying to get your stilettos in the door just like me.

It seems my life has always been a work in progress, which is what life is really all about anyway. But through everything I’ve been through there was always one constant, work. Since the time I was 12, I worked. I worked when I was in abusive foster homes. Through several abusive relationships, I worked. When I was nursing precious babies and changing dirty diapers, I worked. I became a hero to myself and to my children because I worked. I was the man in the family. Even though my story is tragic, the results have been magnificent. I refused the hardships as destiny and forced the joy in and believed. Once learning the word "choices", I choose to be an inspiration and count my blessings in life.

I evolved and grew into my own authenticity, working smart and through hard work. It was the very least I could do for opportunity to show my gratitude for her. I often thrived by her kind generosity and was always grateful to at least be able to stand among her guests. Now with even opportunity herself standing at the back of the unemployment line, I stand watching, completely affronted at the mistreatment and flagrant disregard of my grand hostess. Both of us left to the mercy irony.

I’m done taking it on the chin now Mr. Naughty Economy, you need a time out. Don’t you dare wait till I’m homeless to help me! I’m putting you on the naughty seat and you’re not to get up until I tell you to, or you're going right over my knee! If you don’t behave I’m so gonna hurt your feelings …

People who can’t even spell economy are talking about you. You had no right to treat opportunity like a schmatta. She’s your sister!

I'll send a shiver through your monotony and find a way to employ others. Take that stimulus, I could turn you around so fast it'll make your head spin.

I'm the something from nothing girl, Remember me? *bootstraps* ...

Anyway, I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do about all this, but something, I'm definitely going to do something ...

*sigh* stay tuned ... the saga continues ...

Throughout history people have done amazing things when forced into change. It is possible for us to all work together to decide on how technology will impact our humanity. It's our responsibility.

Want to help me donate books to sad people!?!


Friday, March 25, 2011

"Emergency Repair Kit for Broken Heart" by Ruby Bell

Have you ever been dumped in a text message, DM box, or a post-it note?
Has a friend or loved one?

"breaking someone's heart on purpose should be a federal offense" - Ruby Bell

Highly Recommended!!! The "Feel Good" Hand Holder!!!
Please Purchase here to help the 'under dog' >

Read The Reviews!!!

Portions of proceeds to will be going to ...
my mother's last wish and assist the: "Women's Recovery Association"

Want To Help Me Donate Books To Sad People?

Thank for your loving support!



Saturday, February 12, 2011

When "Love" is Around

When "Love" is around, I tend to let it in, no matter what fine specimen of Adonis walks in.
To the point I might as well wear a t-shirt that says "I'm with Uh Oh".
It never comes in wearing an "under construction" sign over its head,
consequently forcing the deconstruction of Debbie in its wake.
In some cases barely allowing me to escape its grasp alive!

When "Love" was around in the beginning it pursued me relentlessly. Taunting me in doorways and often sending holograms ahead of me to distract my attention, appearing to be shiny armor guys who really wanted a ride to the bus stop or their bar bill paid.
Ah love, Ah amore ... the stuff that Dean Martin is made of baby...

When "Love" is around it sends its warm surges through my veins and intoxicates me as I force my tiny feet into vintage shoes again. It quivers my spine and changes my mind and I flounce. That's right I said flounce. In all of my full on boa regalia I soar with my feathers on clouds and make breakfast.

When "Love" is around it tends to favor sports over my melting Puccini on a Saturday, as it leaves evidence of itself everywhere, shamelessly unaware.
Still I tend to sing in the kitchen, as I clean up the bacon grease and I never seem to mind massaging its neck.

But love likes to go first in the bathroom and forgets to bring me coffee.
It thinks I can carry half my own body weight uphill for 3 miles in 100 degree weather when I'm on my period... then thinks its okay to hand me a shovel when I have to use the restroom.
It likes to think I always taste like sugar, I'm made of rubber, pay my bills through osmosis and I'm always aware where its shoes are when I stumble over them.

When "Love" is around there is always a sense of adventure. As a spirited woman I embrace the antics and all of its foibles, knowing full well I won't be able to get a word in edgewise when it keeps me up past 3:00am.

Nevertheless, love itself will always be my hero. It has such a winning way in all its crooning even though it's spoiled rotten and often broke my heart.

One day it will claim me as its champion, because I’m sure it knows how hard I've held to the beauty of its loving essence, even when I had to wash the soap. ~


Monday, November 1, 2010

"Emergency Repair Kit for a Broken Heart"

(20 or so things you can do while you're waiting for time to step up and heal all wounds)
by Ruby Bell

My Pen Name is Ruby Bell, more to come on the story of Ruby Bell later.

Emergency Repair Kit for a Broken by Ruby Bell > Available on amazon!

"Rejection is anarchy to the human heart, blinding paths for self discovery and can put life in a stronghold"

Every single one of us has suffered from some kind of loss, or at the very least we know someone who is going through some variable of heart break. Perhaps even someone who can't stop calling you, because someone has dumped them in a cruel way.

Well after having suffered from many of my own repeated losses, I realized I just was unable to heal.

Finally, I gathered everything anyone ever told me .. and all the things I felt or needed someone to say to me during those painful times and ...

Quite by accident & then very on purpose I created this feel good hand holder for the broken heart.
It really works! I am living proof!

It has already been acclaimed by a licensed therapist and I have also been told it's something that everyone should read even if they never had a broken heart!

Please help me create awareness for the worst invisible injury on the planet - Rejection.

Book Launch party news to come soon!

Thank You all so much for your loving support.
~ djs