Monday, February 25, 2013

The Starfish Reef

______________________________________________________________________________ It was a balmy day with wisps of warm wind. The sun sparkled off of the sea in glittering amazement. We were on a brief respite with my once estranged parents in Half Moon Bay and things had been a bit awkward. So we stole away for an impromptu adventure before dinner, my sons and I. We walked down the long drive and down the steep stairs to find the lonely beach welcoming and enchanting, almost beaconing us. The tide was out exposing secret caves and paths of rock we had never seen before. We were younger then. They weren't yet towering over my 4' self. So I thought I was still able to play the spin around game as we got on the sand. Lifting them up they were heavier than I expected and we fell to laughing. As we got closer to the water we ran excitedly, rejoicing to have the entire moon of beach to ourselves. We walked and talked sometimes holding hands, exploring the caves around bends we could never get to before. We bounded in the opposite direction down the beach and far out onto smooth wet rock. Stepping out onto what had normally been waist deep ocean when suddenly, there they were. First one, then five .. then we realized they stretched as far as the eye could see. Our eyes filled up with tears at the site as we gazed at each other in complete awe. Starfish. An undiscovered treasure. My sons and I began to count them all but stopped at 200 or so and finally just marveled. We hunted and compared all the variations careful not to disturb them in their habitat. Finally stopping to sit in the warm sand we talked about the starfish. We talked about life things and all that we hoped for each other and for ourselves. I felt as if I was not more than a few years older than they were as we sat and talked openly in sandy squishing toes. It was a moment paused in time permitted by the gift of the starfish, and the moment we afforded ourselves, away from the bewildering world. We had been through a great deal, and the future would prove to be much the same way. We have since lost my mother and other loved ones. We even lost each other for stretches of time, but we always have found our way back to the bonds we created with each other. We don't just have a mother and sons relationship. My children and I pretty much grew up together. All four of my children; my two beautiful daughters and my loving sons and I have true friendship. Unconditional and enduring. It is the way love is built inside me that reveals itself in clear and pure progression inside of them. It is the greatest gift I could have given them and they have it by complete accident because I can't really take credit for it. It's just, what is real in me, is real in them and I am beyond grateful. I am grateful for the day I was able to rescue hope when all hope seemed lost during our struggles. It brings me unspeakable joy for the amazing people they have now become. I'm also grateful I allowed myself the abandon for a few precious moments before dinner to say "Let's go for a walk" on a whim. We didn't return until well past sunset and my parents were for some reason furious at us for being late. The three of us giggled quietly as we looked at each other in silent secret. I don't remember what we even ate that night for dinner, but I remember every glint on the ocean, every varied spot and color on each of our precious starfish and the look of awesome in the eyes of my sons. I carry that day and many others, in my heart during tough times and it is ever sustaining and fills up my soul. Today is my youngest sons birthday. I happened upon this picture and had to tell this story in celebration of him and to let all of my children know how very blessed they have made my life. As a mother I could never ask for better children, as a woman, I have no greater friends. I hope one day everyone will stop and take a walk and find the kind of treasures I now carry with me always. Isaiah, Happiest of Birthdays Sweet Son ... I cherish you. ~ Love Mama ****

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